I am cursed with a sixth sense that won’t quit. It’s a bit of a hidden talent actually. I’m not talking about the bend-my-fingers-backward double jointed fun party trick or anything like that. My sixth sense is actually a set of characteristics that cause me to have an awareness that is a bit unique. While these traits can seem like a curse sometimes, I’ve realized they can be a gift if I tap into them correctly.
My sixth sense is not easily summed up in a few sentences. It’s an interplay between several different ways I interact and react to the world around me. To try to best explain the intricacies of my sixth sense, I’ve narrowed it down to a set of four characteristics: sensitivity, empathy, observer and introvert.
Sensitive Soul
For as long as I can remember, people have used the word sensitive to describe me. Usually it was used as a negative descriptor. I was frequently being told that I was too sensitive. It’s true that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m more likely to be crushed by hurtful words and I take harsh criticisms painfully personal. I just never have been one of those people who could easily brush things off. No matter what I do, I feel everything.
There were two specific instances when being sensitive was used in a positive context. Both times were from art teachers when I was in my formative years. One commended my “sensitive soul” and the other admired my “quiet sensitivity.” I clung to those positive comments. Looking back, those two simple remarks from caring individuals helped me to embrace what most people criticized.
Emotionally Invested
My sensitivity goes hand in hand with a strong sense of empathy. Like I said before, I feel all the feelings. Oh the feels! This includes your feelings. Yup, it’s true. If someone is angry, it tends to rile me up. If a loved one is sad, I’m right there with them. If you’re in my life, I’m emotionally invested in you. I care deeply about what makes your heart sing and what turns your skies grey.
Second Sight
I am a self proclaimed people watcher. I enjoy seeing people experience life. Whether it’s a child poking at an insect they’ve just discovered or an elderly couple strolling along at the nearest park. Being an observer means that I have an attention to detail. I pick up on the subtle nuances that other people might look past. It never ceases to amaze my husband when I recount the tiniest details about a person or an encounter. He’ll shake his head and incredulously wonder how I noticed such things. In a way, it’s kind of like a second sight.
Intrinsically Introverted
I am naturally wired as an introvert. This means that I have the super power of creating my own energy. No really! Introverts are energized by alone time. Sometimes over stimulating environments can leave me feeling drained. If you can imagine my energy capacity as a giant cake, every time I have a depleting interaction, it’s like someone stole a piece of my cake. This can go on until I have no cake left and then I need to retreat to recharge. Thankfully, this is just a hypothetical cake. If you stole a real piece of cake from me, then I don’t think we could be friends.
The Curse
I’m sure right about now, you may be thinking these characteristics aren’t necessarily all that bad. And you would be right. However, this unique combination of traits can sometimes leave me feeling depleted and sad. Negative interactions are especially draining for me. My spirit can become easily trampled upon. When this happens, an overall feeling of melancholy can linger for quite some time if not checked. Being a quiet, sensitive, observer who likes alone time can very much be misinterpreted by outsiders. It’s not uncommon for me to feel misunderstood and isolated. Sometimes I feel as uncomfortable as a fish out of water.
When I was younger, I would loathe my sixth sense. I’d look at the boisterous, life-of-the-party type people who were always at the center of their friend circles and I’d start to wonder how I could become more like that. More likeable. Less like, well, me. Now that I’m older, I try to embrace my uniqueness. The odd quirks that are me. Now days, I like that I have a sixth sense but I find that I can still struggle with just being okay with who I am.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Make a Margarita
So what is one to do with such a curse? Well, when I’m feeling low, I remind myself of why my sixth sense is actually a gift.
- My sensitivity and attention to detail lends itself to my art. These qualities help me to render subtle nuances of color and line. I seek out the beauty in everything. Things that other people may not notice. Even a rusty old nail sticking out of a piece of barn wood can captivate me.
- My attention to detail helps me as the planner in the family. I plan all the details of our day to day life, our calendar and family trips. Without me, who would know to bring the back up to the back up pair of pants for the toddler when he leaks through multiple layers of clothing?
- My sixth sense helps me to be in tune with each member of the family. It’s my forte to know the details and minutiae. I am in tune with the feelings and emotions with everyone in my household. I know when someone is off without a word being spoken.
- I am in tune with those in my circle of influence. I’ll remember that your favorite color is mauve. I’ll remember that you briefly mentioned in passing that a calla lily is your favorite flower. I’ll even bring you one when you’re having a bad day.
- It helps me to have boundaries with people who are extra draining. I can hone in on which situations and people may steal an extra large piece of that cake I mentioned earlier. I try to be picky about who gets a slice. In other words, I try to put my best energy into those who truly matter.
If I’ve gone through my list of why my sixth sense is actually freaking awesome but I don’t feel freaking awesome then I move on to plan B. This involves practicing mindfulness. What am I letting my thoughts dwell on? I try to focus on the good. I keep record of things that make me happy in my happiness journal. I run, dance, practice yoga, get out into nature, listen to music, spend time quietly reflecting in prayer, read, spend one on one time with loved ones and exercise my creativity. These all help me to use my sixth sense to the best capacity I can. Which in turn helps me to be the best version of myself that I can be.
Do you have a character trait(s) that feels like a curse to you? How do you navigate accepting this quality? If you struggle, like I do, spend some time jotting down the positives about this trait. Perhaps you will come up with a list that will help you to see it as a gift rather than a curse.
