There once was a time where I dreamed of what motherhood will be like. I poured myself into the preparations of the little, bright-eyed ray of delight that soon would enter our world. Parenting advice was passed around at my themed baby shower, and I ate it up like it was chocolate fondue at a sleepover.
Then, the baby was born and my romantic notions hit a halt, and the notion of “make it through another day” became my new motto. The heavy dose of sleep deprivation and taking care of child with colic had taken its toll, I felt beat up and worn down.
The night that I want to forget…
One night, I remember trying every method I could think of: rock, sing, swaddle, bounce, feed, cry-it-out, the swing, leg bicycle kicks to remove any trapped gas from his tummy. But, the screaming relentlessly pursued. With every wail, I became emotionally unraveled. My tears flowed with my sons. I can’t exactly tell you how the night ended because honestly, I don’t remember.
I knew motherhood would be hard, but not this hard. I remember having anxiety stepping into a grocery store knowing that if my son started crying, there was no way out. I could not get him to stop. I would have to leave the store with a cart full of groceries.
Gradually the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, and my son starting to turn a corner. Bedtime became less of a guessing game on how long it would take him to fall asleep and into an expected routine. At 6 months, the son who I held my arms as he wailed himself to hiccups started to have a change in personality from a nighttime monster to the sweet, tender boy that I know today. Granted I still had to rock or nurse him to sleep, but tearful nights (I am talking about my own tears here) were (almost) a thing of the past.
To my fellow moms…
My fellow mom and dear friend, you have already noticed that this article is not a 5-step plan to stop your colicky child from screaming, because I know you have already read it all. This, is a message to you from a mom who is now on the other side cheering for you.
During these stormy times of motherhood, I encourage you to reach out to friends and family for help. When someone offers to help, bite your tongue from saying, “that’s ok” and start saying “ok.”
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