I was excited–no, ecstatic–about taking my first Just for Me Trip! since becoming a mom. I entered a new decade of life this year and for my birthday my husband booked me a trip to Hawaii to visit my sister. I had mountains and oceans full of hopes and dreams for this adventure. While I was a little sad that it wasn’t a trip we could take as a whole family, I knew that the time away by myself and with my sis would be good for my soul in other ways. And for the most part it was. My sister and I had made grand plans for my visit. But what I was not prepared for was the way I responded when things didn’t go as planned, and my mom-cation ended up being more stressful and exhausting than normal daily stress.
I arrived in Hawaii with one of the worst headaches I’ve ever experienced, probably due to dehydration and turbulence on the long flight over. I powered through though because my sis was taking me to a cute surprise Airbnb she booked for us on the North Shore of Oahu. I longed to just lay down in a bed and couldn’t wait to see where we were staying. But the excitement soon vanished as we entered the musty home and very soon discovered rat feces all over the floors (and even some on the bed). So, we had to form a plan B. We ended up having fun eating out and Airbnb provided a full refund, thank goodness! A new place was found and later that night we made the drive to a new Airbnb. We arrived after dark and were so tired we just went to bed. We had no idea that the place had a giant lanai right on the ocean! What started out as a nightmare turned into a beautiful experience instead.
The rest of our time together was fantastic. We explored botanical gardens, got to visit the Pearl Harbor Memorial, spent lots of time on the beach, and even finished a very muddy waterfall hike up in the mountains! All of it was exactly what I had hoped and wanted it to be and I was very thankful to have experienced something so amazing.
What I was woefully unprepared for was the journey home.
I arrived at the airport and was shocked and confused to see overwhelmingly long lines, going right out the doors. I’ve been through a few airports and have never seen that before! There were very few airport staff visibly directing the masses. I wasn’t the only one I noticed standing in the wrong line – more than once. More time passed and the lines were barely creeping along. I became unbearably anxious about whether or not I would make my flight. Finally, someone tried to help me move through the line faster, once they realized how close I was to my departure time. TSA even reassured me that I was checked in so the airline would wait.
Once I was FINALLY through all the lines I had to RUN to the opposite end of the airport. I felt like I was in a movie, during the stressful edge-of-your-seat scene, watching actors tear through airports. That was me. My flip-flops were slipping due to the humidity and sweat, blisters formed, my mouth was totally dry, and I was a hot mess. At last I arrived at the gate, which I quickly noticed was completely empty. I ran to the gate agent and blurted out the question of the hour, “Did I miss my flight?”
Yes. Yes I did. I missed my flight out of Hawaii. Therefore I would miss my connecting flight. And I was now living a nightmare, alone in an airport. This mom-cation suddenly became a burden and a barrier to returning home to my family.
I did exactly what you imagine I did at that gate: I lost it. The poor airline agent awkwardly witnessed my emotional breakdown. It took a few minutes and many, many deep breaths to regain my composure enough to accept the dirty truth and start looking for a solution.
I ended up having to go back to my sisters for an extra night. I’m thankful I had family in Hawaii and didn’t have to book a hotel there. The following day I arrived at the airport four hours early and was able to get on the next flight out to San Francisco, where my connecting flight was supposed to be.
Unfortunately, another airport nightmare ensued. I attempted to fly standby that night from San Francisco, hoping I could get home a little earlier. But that standby flight was full. My only other option was to wait a little over 24 hours for the next standby flight to Minneapolis. So, I was stuck in San Francisco.
It took me a while to decide what I wanted to do, and everyone back home who could offer support was asleep because it was in the middle of the night. Miraculously, I found a hotel room with an airport shuttle and I was able to get into a room immediately. I was not expecting that! Almost all the hotels I called were totally full. This was the first silver lining. The second silver lining was that I got to spend a little time sightseeing in San Francisco. This little glimmer of happiness in the midst of a very frustrating situation brought me a lot of joy.
Finally, early the morning of Mother’s Day, I successfully got on the next standby flight to Minneapolis and made it home. When I hugged my babies I cried. There have been plenty of times I’ve cried when leaving, but this was the first time I cried when we were reunited.
Needless to say, I will not be flying anywhere for a long time (unless it’s with my family). Something profound I learned from this experience is that sometimes we plan things to invest in self care or alleviate stress, but the journey is always unpredictable. I ended up in one of the most stressful situations of my life. And now, the day-to-day stress doesn’t seem quite as bad.
No matter what we do, we can’t escape life; we can’t escape the bad, and we can’t escape stress. Sometimes it finds us and surprises us. I certainly didn’t anticipate this kind of stress when not on Mom Duty. However, from it I think I have gained a little more confidence to embrace the mess, the stress, and just do the best I can with it. I’m trying to enjoy the life I have and look for those silver linings–even when things don’t go how I want them to.
