“How in the world am I going to find time to have surgery?” I asked my podiatrist.
“You may find that you need to take care of yourself,” he said as he left the room.
Thirteen years. That’s how long it had been since a pesky neuroma (an inflamed nerve that develops into a benign, excruciatingly painful mass) took up residence in my right foot.
There were other significant issues with my foot, as well, so it wasn’t just the neuroma that my podiatrist would fix. 
Recovery after surgery would take 4 weeks and I would be laid up for the majority of that time.
I decided to, yet again, postpone surgery, you know, until I was at a point in my life when I had 4 weeks to spare. That would happen eventually, right? But then, the next morning as I stepped out of bed the pain was so severe that I began to think childbirth was easier. No, really. It was that bad.
So, I scheduled surgery.
Thankfully, I work for an amazing church that fully supports the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of their employees, so I was granted immediate time off the week before surgery and time afterward. With pay.
A Surprising Recovery
Surgery went swimmingly. Afterward, my husband took me home where he locked me in my bedroom so our three young kids would let me rest and not disturb my poor foot. For the first 72 hours post-op, I was to literally lay down with my foot elevated above my heart. I fluffed up a giant stack of pillows and tried not to think about the fact that there were pins sticking out of my foot in various places – thankfully, buried beneath layers upon layers of bandages.
In those 72 hours, I read a book from cover to cover. I slept. I sat in silence listening to the birds outside my window. I journaled. I cried as I felt the relief as the stress of everyday life and responsibility being to leave my body and my spirit. I read my Bible and reconnected with God and in so doing was reminded that I am a human being rather than a human doer.
Guilt-free Rest
In my 72-hour recovery retreat, I was able to rest guilt-free. I mean, I had to. Doctor’s orders. What I discovered was that somewhere in the last eight years since kids, my husband’s accident (in which he sustained an incomplete spinal cord injury) and stressful, yet meaningful, work, I lost sight of myself. Questions I forced myself to answer revolved around what I love to do, what I enjoy, and what I’m truly good at. As I answered those questions, I felt my figurative cup begin to fill. As I returned to what engages my mind and spirit, I felt energy and enthusiasm seep into my bones.
Surgery and its subsequent recovery forced me to stop and tune into that inward part of myself that needs feeding just as desperately as my kids’ stomachs.
Moms, are you listening to and feeding your soul and spirit? Do you remember what it is you enjoy – just for yourself? Do you remember what it is like to take in the world around you, unfettered by the demands of work and family? Do you breathe deeply the things that bring self-satisfaction, contentment, and inner joy outside of your children, your work or your spouse/significant other? Do you remember YOU?
If not, can I encourage you to take steps to do so, because your well-being is absolutely necessary to the well-being of your family, your marriage/relationship, and your community? We need healthy mommas to have healthy homes and communities.
Taking a Break: How to Rest
Here are some suggestions on how you might rest and rediscover yourself.
1) Go on a Retreat
Commit to at least 48 hours of retreat. Perhaps a Friday evening to Sunday afternoon/evening. It doesn’t have to be fancy or cost you anything. Have your husband/partner take the kids to a relative’s home, or lock yourself in your bedroom, or rent a room at a B&B, or borrow a friend’s cabin/condo, or camp out in the woods. There could be lots of options. 
As you read this, I can hear you thinking, “Yeah, right. Who has time for this? This lady is ridiculous. She was forced into time off and had a supportive employer and husband. I don’t have any of those things.”
Maybe you’re right, but I bet, with enough creativity, you could figure something out. What I’ve learned is people want to help their friends and neighbors. There are those who would be willing to take care of your kids. Perhaps extended family members could give you the break you need?
2) Turn off your phone, tablet or other devices that distract you.
Lock them up if necessary. I promise you will not find rest scrolling through your Facebook, Instagram or Twitter feeds. You can check for messages a couple times a day, as needed.
3) Bring a book/novel (ask friends for recommendations), a journal (start one if you’ve never done so), art supplies or a camera (if nature hikes will be a part of your retreat), a book that focuses on spiritual well-being (Bible, etc), and leave the thoughts of responsibility behind. Do those things which engage your inner self.
4) Remember that silence is golden.
Try to rest in quiet as you reconnect with your inner self. One reason prayer/meditation is so powerful is that it forces us to practice the art of silence. It will be really, really hard at first and you may feel impatient or uncomfortable as you let silence wash over you. Eventually, it can become like a balm or a blanket. Cozy up into it. It’s worth it.
5) Change your (guilty) mindset.
Most moms, myself included, feel guilty for taking time for themselves. I give you permission to get rid of this guilt. Your kids will be fine. In fact, it might be good for them as well.
6) Then, rest, or dream, or ponder.
Go for walks, read, pray/meditate, and ask yourself important questions about who you are and what you enjoy.
Because as my wise podiatrist said, “You may find that you need to take care of yourself.”
