Inevitably, when new mom friends discover that I have been serving coffee for a total of six years and counting, I am asked, “So what (or how) should I order?”
If there’s anything most moms can agree on, it’s the fact that coffee is life. (My apologies to the tea moms. You hold a special place in my heart, and honestly, you are often the easiest customers. Ssshhh. Don’t tell the coffee moms.) I fully appreciate this fact, and as someone who has worked everywhere from a small, organic, gluten-free drive-through in Washington state to the big ol’ Green Bucks, I have heard probably every blunder out there when it comes to ordering coffee.
So first, let me reassure you that if you feel a little lost when it comes to branching out and trying something other than the weekly special or a vanilla latte, you are not alone.
Second, allow me to give you some tips on how to get the most from your coffee ordering experience (and keep your baristas happy in the process.)
Tip #1: The word “espresso” has no “x” in it. So please, stop trying to break up with your favorite beverage by referring to it as your “EX-presso.” We all want you to have a long and happy life together. Also, the word “americano” is a delicious drink combining espresso and water. The word “americana” refers to a style of music, a type of cooked chicken, and United States folklore. Some of your baristas may be musicians, but most of us would rather not embarrass ourselves by attempting to serve you up some nice “americana.”
Tip #2: Espresso is specially ground, roasted, and pressure-brewed using a very expensive machine before being crafted into all of your decadent favorites such as lattes, mochas, and americanos. So even if you buy a bag of coffee grounds at your favorite coffee shop, chances are we won’t be able to help you make your usual drink at home, unless you happened to splurge on a really good quality espresso machine. (Which, if you did, can we be friends?) Putting hot cocoa mix in your coffee might be a delicious and creative way to survive a rough morning, but it is not, in fact, a mocha.
Tip #3: Starbucks has different sizes, drinks, and branding than MOST other coffee shops. So unless you are a die-hard Starbucks fan and never find yourself going anywhere else, take a moment to locate the list of sizes on the menu, see what’s available, and ask questions if you need to. I cannot tell you the number of times I have served a “small” to someone who ordered a “tall” when they really wanted a “large” and I assumed they were using Starbucks lingo. When in doubt, use ounces. Or, if you’re (understandably) too tired to remember how many ounces is what, feel free to point to a cup!
Tip #4: Your drink is probably not as complicated as you think it is. There is really no need to apologize for asking for extra shots, different milk, less syrup, and a different temperature. Really. We’ve seen worse. However, if you feel like your drink is always causing confusion, ask your barista’s advice on how to describe it more easily, or if there is a different drink you would actually enjoy more.
Tip #5: To piggy-back off of the last tip, here’s an important one. Know what you are ordering. To those of you ordering brewed coffee every day, this might seem silly. But if you are accustomed to your local barista knowing what you drink, and you’ve been getting the same drink for so long that you literally don’t know what it is anymore, take a moment to practice ordering it again. There is nothing worse for a new barista than for a regular customer to say to them, “Oh, they know what I want.” Not only does this mean the newbie will never have the chance to learn what you like, it will also leave you frustrated when you come in one day and every single face behind the counter is new.
Tip #6: Here is my biggest and final tip for you: just ask! There are (almost) no silly questions. (The “almost” here is for my fellow baristas. You know what I’m talking about.) If you have never worked in coffee, we get that you won’t have all the answers. That’s why we are here. So go ahead and ask the difference between a mocha, a latte, an americano, a flat white, and a macchiato. Every shop and menu is a little different, and we would SO much rather walk you through the menu than send you away unhappy with your drink.
So, what’s your drink of choice? Favorite coffee shop in Rochester? And most importantly…when can we go?
