Parenting is hard in itself, but when you add managing a chronic illness on top of it, parenting can be even more challenging.
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease just a few months before my wedding in 2011. I was very sick and losing weight daily. It was the worst and scariest quick weight loss program to have before a wedding. After I got married, I continued to lose weight, but thankfully found a combination of medicine that improved my symptoms about six months later. However, I still did not know if we would be able to have children. My doctor had mentioned that some people with Crohn’s have trouble having children. In addition to not knowing if we could have children, my doctor also said that if I was pregnant, it would be a high-risk pregnancy because of my diagnosis and the medications I was taking.
Amazingly, just two months after my doctor said I was in remission, I found out I was pregnant with our first. Despite all the possibilities for complications, I had a very healthy and easy pregnancy. Besides monitoring our daughter’s growth with a couple extra ultrasounds, it was a completely normal pregnancy. Since my various doctors didn’t agree about the safety of breastfeeding with my medications, I did not breast feed our daughter. You can read about my struggles with not breastfeeding in this post. However, after I had our second (another very healthy and easy pregnancy), the research suggested it would be safe to nurse. I am truly thankful to had two very healthy pregnancies and babies despite having Crohn’s disease. Sadly, my husband and I planned to expand our family last spring, but the pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage (unrelated to Crohn’s disease).
Becoming a mom has been a dream come true, but there are a few hard things about mothering with a chronic illness.
1. Appointments.
I feel like I am constantly scheduling appointments for myself. Between blood draws, infusions, colonoscopies (probably my least favorite) and clinic appointments, I always have something scheduled coming up. I have to find childcare, be away from my girls and manage the calendar with all our other activities.
2. Medication Side Effects.
I have to get infusions every eight weeks, and after those I am usually tired, which is a pain. And my medicine makes me immune suppressed, so I can get sick easier than the average person.
3. Hospitalizations.
This past summer I was hospitalized for an obstruction. There is nothing worse than having your children visit in the hospital and seeing them cry as they leave your bedside. Thankfully, I have only been in this situation once.
4. Plans.
As I mentioned before, my husband and I would love to add another child to our family. However, due to complications with Crohn’s we have had to put those plans on hold. Wanting to be pregnant, but not being able to because of a medical issue has been tough. I’m hopeful that the time will come when I will be healthy for another pregnancy.
5. Education.
I don’t mind explaining Crohn’s disease to people, but I find myself doing it often. And then many super well intentioned people have a new cure or diet to help my disease.
Being a mother with a chronic illness has its challenges. Sometimes it looks different than parenting as a healthy mother. Sometimes days are filled with appointments or sorting through medical bills. But I’m thankful to be a mom and to have access to excellent medical facilities and treatments. Having a chronic illness does not define me, but I think it does make me a stronger mother.
