Fresh on our minds, and in our hearts, is the recent discovery of Jacob Wetterling’s
remains – the boy whose disappearance shook the world nearly 27 years ago. We have seen him on bulletin boards along our highways; his boyhood picture next to digital renderings of what he might look like today. We have seen his mother, Patty, on the news advocating for missing children. We have followed news stories as leads developed, and we have said prayers in the hopes he would be found alive.
How could the abduction of a young boy nearly 30 years ago have had such an impact not only here in Minnesota, but throughout the country and world? How is it that so many of us feel connected to his story and to his family?
We remember how Jacob’s story intersected our own.
It was Fall 1989, our 1980’s Mercury Cougar was parked on Main Street outside the Hardware Hank. My dad was inside while I waited in the car. There was no way I was going to go inside that old store with its musty smell and boring, grown up merchandise. Dad left the radio on for me so my 10-year-old-self could sing along to whatever country music came over the air, probably Alabama, Clint Black, Ricky Van Shelton, or Garth Brooks. When the news came on I turned up the volume. I wanted to hear an update on the Jacob Wetterling abduction. Parents in our area were to be cautious as authorities suspected Jacob’s abductor may try to sneak him into Canada through any of the border towns, including Warroad, MN where I sat in a Mercury Cougar parked on Main Street.
Even though Jacob Wetterling’s hometown was hundreds of miles away, that his abductor could be lurking near me was frightening. I turned off the radio, crouched down, and waited for my dad to return.
I can safely say my world from that point on felt less safe, less sure. Violence & uncertainty had visited our collective doorstep, and we are no longer the same.
Now, as a mother, after hearing this story’s conclusion, my heart breaks for Patty Wetterling. From one mother to another, I offer her our collective thoughts, prayers, and condolences.
Dear Patty,
I grew up feeling as if I knew Jacob, though I never met him. He and I were nearly the same age. His was the face of a boy I wanted to know. In it, I saw kindness, compassion, a bit of fun, and heaps of joy. Even now, I see his picture and smile back.
Over the past 27 years, we have cared about what might have happened to your son. We have prayed for him, for you, and your family. Your son touched a part of us that we will never forget.
He could have been any one of us. I believe that’s why his disappearance impacted us so greatly. His was a life like ours. A boy, out playing with friends and having fun, since life in rural Minnesota was supposedly safe. Neighbors cared for one another, and monsters were figments of our imaginations that lived in bedroom closets.
But, he wasn’t one of us, he was your son. I feel the weight of that now as I look at my own sons. I cannot presume to understand what these years have been like for you, and I acknowledge that words fail to cover the gaping wound of a broken heart.
Jacob’s disappearance was a mystery that all of us wanted to be solved. We felt the frustration of no answers and no solid leads. How could a boy simply vanish?
Now, we have answers to that question, or, at least, a starting point for those answers.
As I have spent time thinking of Jacob’s life and your journey, I can’t help but recognize some of the ways his life has impacted the world for the better. That his life, beyond the love you all shared, has made a difference.
Jacob reminds us to love fiercely and live joyfully as life and death are out of our control. I’m reminded that each moment matters. That at every opportunity I can speak words of encouragement, or give that extra hug or linger just a little bit longer as I tuck my kiddos in at night.
The work done since Jacob’s abduction has brought about safer communities – especially for children. What happened to Jacob has shown us that there is evil in the world. We have learned to be alert, to live with our eyes open, to ask questions and follow our gut. When we see something, we should say something. What happened in the aftermath of Jacob’s abduction proved there are lots and lots of good people in this world who work tirelessly and relentlessly to bring about justice, defend the innocent and protect the vulnerable.
Jacob’s life has taught us that hope is better than fear and that love is better than hate. Patty, you have been an inspiration to many people in your response to the darkest tragedy a mother could face. Yet, instead of giving in to fear, you chose hope. You turned any negative emotion you might have had into service to others. You have fought like only a mother can, and I thank you for all your work in making our world a safer place for children. I thank you for how you demonstrated your love for your son over and over and over again – you never gave up and I know Jacob, even now, knows your deep love for him.
Patty, I wish things had ended differently for Jacob. For us, the mystery has been solved, but for you, the journey of grief has just begun. Please know, that during this time there are literally thousands of people praying for you and your family. Perhaps the overwhelming weight of a burden such as this is made lighter by the thousands of shoulders that bear it alongside you.
May God surround you and your family and give you peace.
Sincerely Yours,
Sarah Monson (and Moms all over the world)
