Consumerism has sold us the lie that Christmas is about giving gifts and the gifts you give spread joy, and of course, everyone wants to spread joy, therefore you must buy and give gifts.
THINK AGAIN!
If we really consider what Christmas is all about many of us might have some different ideas. Charles Dickens changed the culture of Christmas from a stingy religious holiday to a magical season of new beginnings, softened hearts, and being charitable. Saint Nicholas was a legend that inspired our modern day mythical Santa Claus. If you’re religious Christmas celebrates the birthday of a historical figure. Maybe, to you, Christmas is a time to spend with family and dote on all your loved ones by splurging on presents. Maybe it’s an excuse to go shopping because you love shopping (sometimes I’m guilty of that one!).
Whatever your reason to celebrate Christmas, there are a lot of us moms who feel completely overwhelmed and overloaded with all the “stuff” that being a parent brings. This isn’t just a Christmas problem either, it happens at birthdays too. So please take a minute and hear us all out. A lot of moms these are days are into minimalism and are trying to be more intentional with the kinds of toys and things we allow into our homes. Maybe we want more natural or eco friendly toys, maybe we just want less toys, maybe we want more learning toys, or want to build a better book collection.
It’s not that we are ungrateful, but we’ve noticed that the more toys and presents our kids get, the less grateful our kids actually are. Christmas for them becomes a game of whether or not they will get to check everything off their Christmas wish list. And we’re not fans of what it’s doing to our kids.
We want our kids to be content with what they have, we want them to exercise their creative potential, we want them to be generous and think of others. We certainly don’t want them whining and begging for the latest Barbie dreamhouse or Star Wars Lego Set that they then put ALL their hopes and dreams into thinking they will get for Christmas. Because then if they get it for Christmas they will have felt entitled to it, and if they don’t get it for Christmas they will complain and totally lose sight of what really matters.
I get that some of you are gift givers at heart. It’s your love language and it would seem unnatural to you NOT to buy your loved ones gifts. So, I want to offer some advice that I think can satisfy both the minimalist mom and the indulgent gift giver.
Tip #1:
Building relationships is more important than giving gifts. I can guarantee you that a child will benefit more from spending time with invested loved ones than they will benefit from the loved one investing in their things. Read that again, and let it sink in. Another way to put it is this, a child is not going to remember what you spent on them, they will remember who was there. Toys and clothing are useful for a season and then they outgrow them, but time and love are never outgrown.
Tip #2:
When thinking about gifts, prioritize experiences over objects. Consider giving a subscription kit (like a tinker box or magazine service). Schedule a date where you get to go do something fun together. There are so many places and things to do in our area and in areas not too far away. Save your money for the adventures you can have with the special children in your life. Memberships to museums or zoos is also a great experience based gift idea. Concert tickets, skiing or tubing passes, cave tours, ferry boat rides, bowling alleys, trampoline parks, movie tickets, museum passes, campsite reservations…I could go on! The possibilities are endless. An experience-based gift gives something fun to do that is totally out of the norm but gives them a memory worth more than the things you can buy in a store.
Tip #3:
Ask the parents if they have a list of things the child may need or want and stick to the list. Many of us love shopping on Amazon and it is so easy to build a wish list that you can easily share with friends or family. Other businesses have similar online services as well. It’s kind of like a registry but it’s a shopping list. If you asked the parents what kinds of toys or school supplies or clothing items the child was in need of, this is a perfect opportunity to really get something that will be truly appreciated. Many of those things on those lists we may need to buy eventually and so not having to think about it is a huge blessing. The things on the list might surprise you but that’s okay! And even if they seem like “boring” gifts to you they will still be a blessing to us!
So those are my three tips for making the most of your gift giving this season! Keep the relationship the most important priority, consider an experience-based gift, or ask the parents for a list. And if you feel like you could use a break from gifting altogether, go and do a service project as a family instead. Refocusing our hearts to the things in life that really matter are sometimes just what we all need. Blessing others is priceless, whether it’s through an intentional gift, making a memory, or serving outside our comfort zone.
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you do it with joy. I hope you can enjoy the loved ones around you and make the most of each moment. Enjoy this special season! Happy Holidays.
