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Rochester Local

An Interview With Grandma: Motherhood & Racism

black history month, family, integrated schools, Interview, Motherhood, national news, news, newspapers, racial tension, racism, segregation

I follow the news. I often run into moms who think following the news is stressful or a time waster. My own mother (who stayed at home) read at least one newspaper daily. She was an example to me of the importance moms play in the national conversation.

We care deeply about the life our children will lead, we want to educate them and we want to see them be forces for good. This brings me to one of the most disheartening topics in the news-racism.

A few weeks ago I interviewed my grandmother, who is 81 years old. She is from south Georgia, has a strong southern accent and has spent the latter portion of her life in the Upper Midwest. I have never, not once, heard my grandmother utter a racist or prejudiced statement. I interviewed my grandmother to ask the question, “How do we raise our kids to value diversity and see all humans as equal?” What I got from her answers truly touched me and I want to share them with you. The lessons she shared helped me understand her life, her experience and her heart.

 

Interview

Q: Grandma, can you describe the area where you grew up?

A. I was born in 1936. I grew up in a rural area of south Georgia. My family lived on a farm. 

Q: What did you farm?

A. We farmed cotton, peanuts and corn. Mostly, peanuts and corn.

Q: Tell me about your neighbors.

A. It was a small community, and we only had a few neighbors around us.

Q: Was there diversity in your community?

A. Yes. We had neighbors who were Caucasian; two bachelors and two sisters who all lived together. And we also lived very close to an African-American family and a single lady who was African-American.

Q: Did you have much interaction with the neighbors that were African-American?

A. Yes, one lady’s name was Miss Lily. She was older and lived alone. I would visit her often as a child. She is the one who taught me how to like coffee. And the family that lived close by were playmates of mine growing up. 

Q: Did you get a sense that your parents were racist?

A: No. I never did. My friends played at our house often and my daddy owned a school bus. On weekends, he would use the bus to take people from our rural community into town. He did not discriminate who could ride the bus.

Q: How was your community segregated?

A. In the schools and also at church.

Q. Did you ever question why your African-American friends went to a different school?

A. I did not. For us, it was just the way it was. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized the unfairness of that.

Q. Your daughters were in junior high when schools were desegregated. Did you have a problem with that?

A. No, I did not. We supported the public schools decision to integrate. The only thing I remember thinking was, I hope there is not violence for any of the children. Safety of all the students was a concern because we knew how things were going in different parts of the country.

Q. Going back to your childhood, was there anything else that you saw as an injustice?

A. Hannah, what really makes me sad is how African-Americans were made to feel like second class citizens. I think where this was most evident is at the drinking fountain and counters in restaurants. There were signs everywhere that said, “Whites Only”. I can’t imagine how horrible that made people feel, it was just terrible.

Q: Did you think it was terrible as a child or young adult?

A. To be honest, I didn’t really think about it. Later in life, I realized that people are created equally and to designate areas as “Whites Only” made those who weren’t white feel very unequal.

Q. Since we know racism is a problem, how do you think young moms can combat racism and teach our children the values of equality?

A. I think the most important part is your actions. Your kids will pick up on how you treat people. If you teach them everyone is equal and then show this through your actions, they will not be raised to not hate.

Q: Do you have any final thoughts?

A. The hardest part about all of this is you cannot legalize morality. People have to change their hearts and stop teaching children to hate people based on appearance. I regret that I was not more active in the Civil Rights movement. I was not an advocate for other people’s children like I wish I had been. But the way I grew up, with Miss Lily and my neighbor friends, shaped my views into adulthood. I knew people were created equally and ultimately understood they were not being treated equally in my community. There might not be signs above water fountains, but racism still exists. It is so important to teach our children to love all people.

I want to thank my grandma for her openness. I hope when I’m 81 I can look back and be honest about my life and acknowledge the areas that I fell short, like she can. The most striking thing about this interview is her desire to have done more to fight racism. So, what more can we do? How can we advocate for ALL children regardless of race? How can we shape this next generation, as mothers?

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