fbpx
Rochester Local

Living With The Worst Sleepers Ever

Living With the Worst Sleepers Ever | Rochester MN Moms Blog

This is not an article about how to get your children to sleep. Oh boy, have we tried everything. When people hear our boys aren’t great sleepers, they usually offer advice. I don’t mind advice, because most people have good intentions; however, I have come to the realization that nothing but time will help our bad sleepers. So this is a look into our survival tactics.

To set the stage, a typical night goes like this…

8:00pm: ‘Bedtime’ also known as ‘Bath, Potty, Pajamas, Teeth Brushing, Chasing, Fighting, Books, Cuddles, Stories, Water – time’
9:30pm: Zone out and give sighs of relief they are finally sleeping.
11:00pm: WAHH! Baby wakes up and wants a bottle right as you are about to fall asleep.
11:45pm: Finally get Baby back down in their own crib, Yay!
12:00am: Fall asleep while praying you don’t wake up til morning.
2:00am: Baby cries again and wakes up preschooler who then bolts into your room and scares you half to death. Usher them back into their bed.
2:10am: Lay down next to them because they are scared of the “shadows”. Fall asleep on the edge of their bed.
4:00am: Sneak out of the preschoolers bed, glance at the clock, and feel relief cuz you have 2 hours of sleep left.
5:00am: Baby wakes up so happy and alert! You cry and attempt to put him back down because it’s not time to wake up yet!
6:30am: Finally fall asleep in the rocker with the baby and the preschooler walks in and wants breakfast.
6:45am: Consider that the boys have a conspiracy against you and are plotting your demise.

IMG_2565blog

So here’s how we keep from losing our minds (mostly)…

Prayer

Oh Lord, help me! Maybe you think I’m joking but I assure you I am not. Many a nights I have whispered or screamed this. Hey, if the kids are already screaming, you can too, right? You may not be a spiritual person, but kids that don’t sleep will make you one real quick.

Coffee

Amen. See? There must be a God, because there are these magic beans specifically for parents who want to feel human again.

Perspective (I mean Delusion)

It’s always important to keep some perspective if you’re going on night 3 with only a few hours of sleep. And interrupted sleep at that! For example, try to remember that teething doesn’t last forever! Perhaps your 6 month old will sleep again when they stop teething. At 2 years old. After they get their molars. Okay good, only a year and half left of no sleep! See, maybe there’s hope.

Support

Remember the saying ‘misery loves company’? Well in this case it’s totally true. When we heard our new neighbor friends had a colicky baby and got little to no sleep; instant best friends!! You mean we aren’t the only ones in the whole world whose babies don’t sleep through the night at 6 weeks?! Hurrah!

Empathy

Of course there will be plenty of sympathy for yourself, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean try, TRY to muster a shred of empathy for your crying child. What if you were them? I mean it must suck pretty bad to lay in a cold jail cell all by yourself the whole night. Yeah, I’d rather be in a plush bed sandwiched between 2 large heaters too. Put yourself in their place. It’s next to impossible at that hour, but if you can manage some empathy, it does help you stop thinking about yourself and how you are not sleeping and how awful this is and how you just want to die so then at least you can sleep. Wait, back to thinking about your child. Yes, empathy is hard.

50/50

Let’s be honest, nothing is completely 50/50, but perhaps you can make a deal with your guy that if he gets up with the kids one night, you will do it the next. Or if he let’s you sleep in, you will not be annoyed about his fantasy football. Or if you sleep in the guest room for the weekend, you will change all the dirty diapers. Oh, and try not to make empty promises.

Sense of humor

My husband and I joke that we think someone is pulling a prank on us. Not a funny one at all, but I swear every single night right when we’re about to drift off… WAHHH! You know that dumb movie Groundhog Day? The 20th time he wakes up and it’s Groundhog Day again, it has lost all meaning and is funny. You’re not sure why not sleeping is funny, but you’re so tired you’re delusional, and so you laugh.

Wine

Enough said.

Recitation

Just keep repeating… This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

IMG_2573blog

Related posts

Guide to Moving to Rochester MN

Rochester Local

Rochester MN Holiday Lights Guide

Rochester Local

Things to Do

Rochester Local