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Rochester Local

Just Show Up: Fight For Your Children

I woke up this morning with the Counting Crows song, “Long December” stuck in my head. Showing my age, to be sure, but appropriate for my current state of mind.

“…long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.”

This New Years Eve, I was not guzzling champagne and cheering the New Year. Rather, you would have found me sipping hot tea and almost bitterly slamming the door on 2016.

Our December was long this last year. What is normally my favorite holiday season felt interminable and exhausting. I found myself simply “going through the motions” to provide my children a magical season. And my heart broke a little when my daughter commented to me halfway through December, “Mom, Christmas doesn’t seem like much fun for adults.” Ugh…does it really show? It’s supposed to be fun for everyone, my love. I’m just doing it wrong. If we’re really being honest here, our family’s month of December should have been the end I predicted to a year that left us weary.

And the sheer volume of 2016 memes showing up in my facebook feed tell me that I am not the only one weary at the beginning of this new year.

No, 2016 was not the “worst year ever”, and no, I do not think that 2016 was somehow cursed. That being said, this past year was certainly the most difficult and the loneliest of my adult life. It was the hardest on my kids, and the hardest on my marriage. It was the hardest on me personally, and I can only hope that I haven’t left too much damage in my wake. Though the year brought our family a handful of beautiful blessings that cannot be discounted, 2016 also brought drastic, stressful changes. It brought medical crises and lost loved ones, tested faith and uncertainty. Additionally, the weight of the anguish all around the world has been hanging over me like a dark storm cloud. Though I was relieved to bid farewell to 2016, these things aren’t going to go away because it’s a new year. It’s a new year, but not a new you. It’s a new year, but your circumstances are the same.

Maybe you’re here too.

Maybe your January 1st looked exactly like your December 31st. The symbolic flipping of the calendar page may have done nothing for either your heart or your circumstances. I don’t know if it looks to you like there is any reason to believe that this year will be better than the last. Here’s what I do know. I know there is no spirit fiercer than the spirit of a mother raising her babies. I know that you might not always know what to do. You might not always do the thing that your children need at the moment that they need it. I certainly don’t. But I know your mama soul will fight for your children with every ounce of your being.

Very few of us will ever have to physically fight for the lives of our children. We are unlikely to encounter a bear, or even a rabid raccoon, attacking our children. Odds are against it. The battles mamas fight are more insidious. We fight to teach our children right from wrong, to keep them safe, and to make them strong. We fight to give them a world worth living in, and to be an example worth watching. It’s easy to become overwhelmed in the day-to-day routine and lose sight of what we’re doing and why. Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest through the trees and easy to throw your hands up in surrender.

So this year, just show up.

It’s okay to show up scared, or to show up broken, or to show up weary. Show up for your kids and your spouse. Show up for your friends, your community, and the causes that you believe in. Keep showing up when you don’t even think you know how. You are a mother. You are fierce and strong, a mama bear. For that reason alone, there is reason to believe that this year may be better than the last.

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